Hair spotting

(Note to my Daughters #1)

Okay, who among we women hasn’t done this?

Saturday morning, you’re sitting with your coffee checking Facebook and email, hand on chin, and you feel it.

You flip your Ipad or smart phone to camera selfie mode to locate that rogue hair beneath your chin.

Hair spotting is tricky with these devices.  There are two selfie views: down your face and – turn it around – up your nostrils. The first view is useless, unless the hair you’re trying to vanquish is on the bridge of your nose. In the other view, the hair is lost in those new neck rolls.

People don’t talk about this, but I swear it’s in the top three life-altering complaints of women my age. Right next to those other two, which I won’t yet mention.

That woman in the next lane stroking her chin at the stoplight? I promise you, she’s not pondering Sartre and the meaning of life. She’s trying to recall which room she’ll find her tweezers in when she gets home.

I know people are more likely to follow blogs that provide useful information, so in that vane, I Googled the subject of chin hair. 24.9 million entries. Apparently it’s something people want to know about. A site aimed at women in their 60s had this advice, which was as useful as any:

  1. Don’t shave. Apparently some women do this. Ewww. Stop it. It will come back in spades. Think Movember.
  2. Invest in good tweezers. Good, not cheap.
  3. Buy a super magnifying magnifying mirror. Don’t rely on your Ipad.
  4. Laser it and
  5. Have good friends (this one inspired by my rowing pal, Linda, who one day said, “stay still, let me get that.”)

You’re welcome.

Nothing we didn’t know, except the comfort that we’re not alone.

In my mom’s later years, she made me promise that if there came a time that grooming wasn’t top-of-mind, I would honour her dignity and have tweezers at the ready.

I did that.

So . . .

Note #1 to my daughters

When I lose the plot, be vigilant with tweezers. This matters to me at 64 and I’m betting it will matter when I’m 94.

God, I miss estrogen.

 

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Jayne Beason says:

    Hahahaha! Truer words and all that! What can one do at this stage but laugh, squint and pluck (and pluck and pluck, starting to sound like a chicken here!). Hint: super magnification mirror with built in light.

    Like

    1. Gery Lemon says:

      The light. Yes!
      You, of course, know the other two issues. I shall have to have a large following before I take that on.

      Like

  2. Marilyn says:

    Made me smile! But I did think you were going to talk about the other hair fetish, our mother’s and occasionally yours?

    Like

    1. Gery Lemon says:

      I think mine might run more to billiard balls. 🙂

      Like

  3. Laser won’t work unless the hairs are dark! Blonde hairs don’t have enough pigment to absorb the wonderful, hair destroying light. Tweezers it will have to remain.

    Like

    1. Gery Lemon says:

      Who knew!? That’s news to me.
      (Expectations of you in this regard stop at tweezers. 😊)

      Like

  4. Lloyd says:

    Oh ladies…. you are not alone. Men also get new unwelcomed visitations. For those follically challenged (is that more politically correct than bald?), the hair that vacates the top of the head often finds a new place to call home. Tweezerly removal of nasal squatters, evicting hair from the ears and, oh yes, let us not forget disassembling those bushy eyebrows, that grow so long and thick you could use them to scrub the sidewalls of your car tires. They all demand time in front of mirrors, or spouses that have either a good sense of humour, patience or enjoy watching their men squirm. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gery Lemon says:

      I’ve offered to tweeze nasal squatters but to date my generosity has been rebuffed. ☺️
      Hair migration is a mystery. Women want eyebrows, but those luxurious brows of old disappear, apparently destined to become caterpillar brows on men. Oh, the inequality.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jayne Beason says:

        Yes but those bristly beetles men call eyebrows would not be welcome on too many of us I expect. Plus they, not to mention prickly nose hairs, can be most hazardous when necking (oh god, did I really just use that term at 60+ lol).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Gery Lemon says:

        Hah! You must be old. People don’t neck any more, apparently not for a generation or more. I’m not sure what they do, but I know I’ve been an object of great hilarity when I’ve spoken of necking.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lloyd says:

        The phrase ‘necking’ has been replaced by ‘kanoodling’…

        Like

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